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admin
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 Posted: Fri Jun 08, 2007 11:52 am Post subject: Why do Men CHEAT? |
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Why do Men CHEAT? -1
Call it any other name you like, but it's still CHEATING.
Be it with another woman, another man, your company secretary, your neighbour, your wife's best friend or sister, a bimbo on the internet (who might actually be a man), through phone sex, your pastor or whatever else men find tempting, it is still cheating; regardless of whether the person you're cheating on is your girlfriend, spouse, or 2nd and/or 3rd wife.
What makes you think some women are unaware their mates and spouses are cheating? Some just choose not to act, or delay their actions until their goals are accomplished, or they can't tolerate the disrespect any further.
Not all men live with the guilt, as I'm sure most men don't. If they could predict the guilt, they wouldn't venture into the act to begin with, and if there was anything gnawing at their hearts apart from their desire to plan new escapades with their accomplices, they would end the affairs rather than prolong them. Is this to say those men 'who seem to have NO conscience' have defective or improperly working hearts?
Men, feel free to be honest, no one knows who you truly are, and it's no one's business to inform your mates/spouses as to anything that's revealed out here. It might actually be a counselling opportunity as well as enlighten both sexes as to not only why it happens, but how to resist the temptation, and avoid it. Ladies feel free to do us the honors also.
[Please do not use this opportunity to teach other dogs new tricks!]
Cxsm
12th Nov. '03
© Cxsm 2003 All Rights Reserved |
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admin
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| Posted: Fri Jun 08, 2007 11:59 am Post subject: Why do Men CHEAT? - Responses and Analysis |
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Why do Men CHEAT? - Responses and Analysis
In all seriousness though, truths were revealed amongst all the jest and name spicing.
Some of the answers given as to why mostly men, (but sometimes women) cheat can thus be explained as follows:
| Quote: | Because we want to. Because we can.
Because it is an option and so we checked the box. |
| Quote: | They lack self-control (give in to temptations).
They get thrilled with the excitement of having affairs.
Because they find beautiful (and ugly) 'willing' women tempting. |
| Quote: | No, that is not what it is. Women see it as cheating. Men see it as giving in to temptation. It works for a man if the woman does not know about it and he can live with the guilt gnawing away at his heart.
Temptation is a sly monster, hard to resist. Hard. We all experience it daily, especially when the other women find you attractive and are willing to start a storm with you. Leave the guys alone please. It isn't cheating to them. Ha ha! |
| Quote: | You cannot hope to stop men from cheating. That's in their genetic make-up. Don't even try. I may not be doing it, but I have so many friends who are having a blast and we talk about it. Its just the way their made. They love the woman at home, but they also crave the excitement of the escapades.
I know a man who is not even sleeping with the lady he runs around with. For him, it tickles that he can get still get a girl so young and pretty. |
| Quote: | | ...a man is permanently in the mood. He was born in the mood. He IS the mood, so it is a lot easier for a man to give in to temptation than it is for a woman.....a man is permanently on fire. Let's not even compare temptations. We invented the word!. |
| Quote: | BECAUSE THEY CAN AND BECAUSE WOMEN ALLOW IT.
Can a man "do it" to himself? Well, in a way...Yes; but without women -- men wouldn't cheat...They need willing partners -- don't they? MEN CHEAT BECAUSE THEY HAVE WILLING PARTNERS: WOMEN! |
| Quote: | | It is in the blood, and when something is flowing in your veins, you let it do its will with you and all around. |
| Quote: | i) They like to have their cake and eat it.
ii) They have higher libidos than their partners.
iii) Variety is the spice of life to them, hence they go about "sampling" willy-nilly (pun not intended)
Some folks cannot control themselves when anything in skirts or trousers walks by. They just have to get into its pants. |
| Quote: | | Its just something men do. Men don't sit down to analyse why when the impulse hits. It is about "cheating". It is about meeting a need, a need usually temporal, because half the time, they get tired of the tickle and go back home to miss stable and reliable at home (NOTE: half the time) |
| Quote: | | NO CONTROL and the fact that these men know that they could get caught but I guess the excitement of what would happen even if they got caught pushes them on. |
| Quote: | | It's obvious men who cheat lack self-control |
| Quote: | | Men were designed to make sure our species survive by going "into the world and multiplying." Its is not cheating we are only following the instructions God programmed into us. |
| Quote: | | They cheat because of "greed." Plain and simple. They cheat because they feel it is their right to have "one than one". |
I personally have always believed "A man cheats because he sees or can create the opportunity to do so."
Sorry, the genetics theory got thrown out. The fact that men have a body part/tool or weapon, women don't have, doesn't mean it's automatically permitted to be used by men without some sort of control. It's obvious men who cheat lack self-control, as the existence of men who do NOT cheat have proven. What your mind feeds your body part, is all it can successfully carry out.
We can also say the main (but not sole) reason most women who cheat do so (as being echoed), is when they feel emotionally deprived. (I actually started a different thread to examine that, so that men can understand the real reasons why). Just like someone said, there are some women that defy the norm and he labeled them according to their pedigree.
Men who cheat, on the other hand 'may' claim to love their women, and regardless of their level of sexual satisfaction with their mates and spouses, they still tend to stray for the various reasons stated above.
Ladies, sorry indulging in kama sutra positions, etc., will not make a difference unless you can "effect a mindset change" in your partners. Don't get frustrated and try the 'Bobbitt approach' either, you might get jailed, as it's already been used and tried.
It is obvious that someone with a high enough integrity and healthy self-esteem would not seek thrills from other than their mate. It's usually the men who feel a need to prove their sexual prowess that go prowling.
Since it seems men and women mostly cheat for seemingly different reasons, a woman may have NO control over whether her mate/spouse cheats or not.
One of the latest topics on TV this week was on how spouses who cheated on their mates with internet partners are destroying their relationships and marriages.
So, facts are revealing that the likelihood of participating in internet relationships increases with Internet porn stimulation, and ultimately increases the chances of destroying an established relationship. A mate who prefers to spend more time 'watching or indulging in internet porn or relationships' than that which s/he spends with their mate is emotionally cheating on their mate.
In answer to someone's request (during his first attempt to be diplomatic) "please define CHEATING," I believe cheating is your emotional, physical and mental participation in an affair with someone other than your mate/spouse. For ease of conversation we can define this to include: going/sneaking out on dates, sexual/non-sexual strong emotional commitments and intense relationships with someone other than your mate, internet relationships, phone sex relationships, etc.
How then can either partner and most especially the woman effect a positive change or prevent their mates from straying? Also, how can a cheating man control/stop (not hide) his straying?
Today's word of wisdom. Self-control is listed as one of the 9 fruits of the spirit, which we are encouraged to strive for, I'm sure God had a very good reason for including it.
Cxsm
14th Nov. '03
© Cxsm 2003 All Rights Reserved
Last edited by admin on Sat Jun 30, 2007 8:53 am; edited 2 times in total |
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| Posted: Thu Jun 28, 2007 10:48 am Post subject: |
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If people would think of others rather than their own selfish wants and desires, and put others first, like Christ did, and asks us to do also; then cheating would not take place and no one would look to other places for what they think their needs are. Cheating is a CHOICE one makes instead of thinking of other's needs and caring for them. "It is ME FIRST and ME ME ONLY" is where the problem lies. It is the " I, I" syndrom, and that is exactly what Christ taught against and if He had lived that way there would be no plan for our salvation.
Thank you Lord for thinking of others.
DDB
5/22/04 |
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admin
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| Posted: Sat Jun 30, 2007 8:22 am Post subject: |
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RE: [Esan_Community] Why do men CHEAT?
Funny, Low self esteem doesn't seem to feature, why?
Reggie.
5/26/04 |
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admin
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| Posted: Sat Jun 30, 2007 8:41 am Post subject: |
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Dear Reggie,
Probably because it's obvious that someone with a high enough integrity and healthy self-esteem would not seek thrills from other than their mate. It's usually the men who feel a need to prove their sexual prowess that go prowling.
Cxsm |
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| Posted: Sat Jun 30, 2007 10:52 am Post subject: |
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Re: [AfriK-Woman-To-Woman] Why Do Men CHEAT?
Have not actually done the do, but have been very tempted. I know many may not believe this, but could it be that the spouse they are with have emasculated them over and over and over again then someone comes along who is caring and makes them again feel like a man. Just posing this as an answer.
Now for personal ex(perience) been down the mental abuse emasculation road, for out a couple yrs ago I was sick liver problems irreversable, not good news however no support from the other half didn't want to hear about it etc. So how you think that made me feel, so then when some one comes along with some compassion and caring. I'm to reject them right.
Just saying all is not black and white. life is more complicated than a set of rights and wrongs
Peace ifayomi
Kwaku
11/9/05 |
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admin
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| Posted: Sat Jun 30, 2007 10:55 am Post subject: |
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Re: [Afrik Woman to Woman] Why Do Men CHEAT?
Dear Bro.Kwaku,
Your self-disclosure is appreciated. You are one brave man to be so open on a predominantly female forum :-)
Well...men are human,just like women after all...aren't they.
I think its only human to want to be around people who allow us to feel good being ourselves. Isn't it easier to be uplifting to people we don't have to live with? We only have to be with them for a season.
Husband and wife can transform their existence together simply by making a rule to be kind to each other, like they are to other people. Speaking in sweet tones, saying please and thank you. Finding someway to compliment them, like we do other folk. Well....I treat other folk like that ...much of the time.
So, yes, there is some validity in what you say Kwaku.
Take care of yourself.
Adaoma
11/9/05 |
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| Posted: Tue Jan 15, 2008 2:24 am Post subject: |
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Re: Why Do Men Cheat?
If you look unattractive all the time, they're bound to find temptation to when other attractive women are constantly in their faces. BUT that is no excuse, a man can urge his mate or teach her if necessary, to keep herself attractive as often as she feasibly can, to keep his mind out the gutter or flea market. Likewise a woman who finds her mate in thesame disposition.
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May we be strengthened with the ability, willingness and capabilities to be good ambassadors of Nigeria contributing to its uplifting, rather than its detriment. - Cxsm |
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| Posted: Fri Jan 18, 2008 1:35 pm Post subject: |
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| Sola wrote: | No, that is not what it is. Women see it as cheating. Men see it as giving in to temptation. It works for a man if the woman does not know about it and he can live with the guilt gnawing away at his heart.
Temptation is a sly monster, hard to resist. Hard. We all experience it daily, especially when the other women find you attractive and are willing to start a storm with you. Leave the guys alone please. It isn't cheating to them. Ha ha! |
Are you trying to say women are not tempted? Yet they somehow manage not to fall as often as men do. And why is it alright for men to cheat, but not for women? Who says women don't experience the daily temptations that men do?
There is no one that is immune to the thrill of a chase, either men or women. But while most women know where to draw the line, the men, like you said, are having too much of a blast to put on the brakes.
If it's in their genetic make-up and impossible to resist, why aren't you doing it?
Claireij
11/13/03
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