| Archive for NaijaPositive.com Dedicated to providing you with POSITIVE news and updates about Nigeria. |
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What is So Special About Nigerian Men?What is So Special About Nigerian Men?Someone posed this question on one of the websites and I'm curious to find out what you folks think out here.
Cxsm 12/23/03 |
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Here are some of the responses that were posted.
And for laughter- another response.
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Ok, I married a Nigerian man but not for the reasons listed. I wanted a man that was connected to God and when I met my husband he was exactly what I was looking for. Besides, I adored all African men anyway. Something is definitely unique about you all and I knew when I was 18 (I'm now 27) that I was going to marry an African man. At first people thought I was in love with their accents but it's not that. You all think very differently...not all of you though....
Anyway, I have dated African men from Senegal, Nigeria, Malawi, Zimbabwe, and have sensed a connection. I don't know what it is but it's not all about the "long dong silver". It's about how you are treated with the upmost respect and love. it's about unity. LadyK 12/25/03 |
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Some of you have probably seen this before, but.....
Reasons To Date Naija Men http://naijapositive.myfastforum.org/about1468.html Cxsm 1/3/04 |
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Why Naija Men Are The Bomb
Nigerian men All the Way. Nigerian Men to me are very ambitous people, they are sexy as well. when it is time for me to settle down, i am evetually going to marry a nigerian man, like my mother predicted because they are my people and i can connect with them on many different levels. To me it seems that with Nigerian man, they respect you more better and they value. Nnene18 1/13/04 |
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I am African American and married to a Nigerian man. I never sought out to marry a Nigerian man. But, my husband had character traits that had me awe. His manners, way of life, dedication and drive attracted me. He is truly the hardest working man I have ever met!! He beleives in GOD and marriage. He treats me like a queen. I will never down talk African American men but, there are some valuable life lessons they could learn from Nigerian men.
Positivewoman 5/19/04 |
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well!well!well!
Nigerian men are nice, educated, hard working and intellectually stimulating...... here comes the buts........ when it comes to been romantic on a scale of 1 to 10 i give them a 2.5 some one says they have the long john silver....lol... yea but do they know how to use it... some of them are selfish in bed, they only want to cum and thatz it they really do not give a s*** about their partner, they are so boring it is not even funny. some of them are so old fashion, no flowers, no chocolate on dates, i mean what do they think this is ? the 40's? some of them all they ever think about is sex, you as a female can't be friends with them all they think about is how to f*** the s*** out of you which they don't know how to do that very well anyway. they have what you call a sugar coated mouth, they tell you i will do this and that and this for you, do not ever believe them because all is a LIE. there are some good ones out there but they are very hard to find once you find that special Nigerian guy hold on to him and do not let him go. enuf. Muskan 5/20/04 |
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Sola 5/20/04 |
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Where have you been picking your men? 
The above described sound like immature and self-absorbed geeks who've spent their lifetime in the lab rather than in real life. Actually, those from the 40s are probably more romantic, since they believed in courting and wooing women. Now-a-days some men feel they have abundant options and thus do not care to make the effort to care about, let alone cater to their mate's needs, so maybe that's the tree the above described fell from. Mature men, Nigerians or otherwise who do not require external validation DO what it takes to satisfy their mates, in and out of the boudoir, romantic gestures included. Romantic Nigerian men do exist, you've just got to find them. Clue - check out their habits on the first date, it's always an indication of what will follow. Overcompensation on the other hand could indicate a Gigolo is lurking in your immediate personal space. 
Cxsm 5/20/04 |
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Sistah, wazzappening? A broda must have played you. Sh*t happens and you'd best believe that in all races, colors and creed, there are the good, the bad and the ugly versions of men or women. Maverixz 5/20/04 |
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Whew Muskan, even I got played by a Naija man a few years back but I ain't sweating it now. Girl, anyone can hurt you but you must move on!!!
LadyK 5/20/04 |
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Why all ya'll thinking i got played? contrary to all assumptions. i am just saying it the way it is. i have a wonderful man who is good to me and he is from Nigeria so how about that? i do not beat around the bush if ya'll want opinion on Nigerian women i will give you the full 411 i a'int playin. brothas y'all know i am telling the truth so what is the problem, please face reality do not pretend as if Nigerian men are the bomb, some of them are but not all. i got a little bit pissed off when i saw everybody reply sayin Nigerian men are the s*** wake up and smell the cofee, Don't be trying to link my personal life style with the response i wrote men come on that is kinda low... i still love you all though.
Muskan 5/20/04 |
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Love you too Muskan!
You had us scared for a hot minute! I think that the most special man in the world is the one you are with and my husband just happens to be a Naija man! LadyK 5/20/04 |
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I actually heard that Nigerian men aren't good lovers.
Is that true?? Missy Alaukwu 5/21/04 |
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Look, for the record, no one's complained about me! And I am a Nigerian man!
Sola 5/21/04 |
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I'm not saying you --- don't take offense. Everytime I read the sex forums on Nigerian websites, there is always a mention that Nigerian men aren't good lovers. I have never been with a Nigerian man but everytime I ask that question (to my friends), of course they say it's not true. But don't worry, I believe you. Missy Alaukwu 5/21/04 |
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Re: What's So Special About Nigerian Men?
Yes, Nigerian men all the way. True that Nigerian men to me are very ambtious people. I'm also going to marry a Nigerian man, just like my mother also says because theywill treat me good. To me it seems that with Nigerian man, they respect you better and they have strong values. I love how they take their family responsibilities very seriously. Family comes first with Nigerian men. (Let me say.... I have male Nigerian friends and I was just comparing them to my male American friends, of the same age). I also love their accents. With Nigerian men conversations get deep. They have qualities that I find amazing. Their manners, way of life, dedication and drive are very attractive to me. My Nigerian friends are always encouraging me to do and be better. Yes, Nigerian men can teach other men some valuable life lessons. Nigerian men are easier for me to talk to about anything w/o judgement from them. You guys are so sensitive. Naija men are not perfect. Yes, Nigerian men are nice, educated, hard working and intellectually stimulating but on that same scale of being romantic, I give them a 3.5 and that's with extra credit.  Nigerian men brag about sex all the time. My girlfriend, who is dating a Nigerian man, says her b/f have a big-man-dingo but can't work with it; and it's a shame he has it and don't know how to use it and that he is selfish in bed (and this is not the first time I heard this). Nigerian men are possessive and controlling. Nigerian men are also hard-headed and stubborn and are quick to jump to conclusions and can curse you out if they feel you did them wrong. And Nigerian men are like American men but sneakier. Let's not talk about the way they dress.
................and I want a Nigerian man. Missy Alaukwu 5/21/04 |
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mrs alaukwu God bless you my sister, Gosh ! some people felt like i was making this s*** up.
Muskan 5/22/04 |
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Can we stop generalizing here. Please be more specific.Comments like "The Nigerian men I have dated are........", "I've heard that some Nigerian men are.......", or the Nigerian men I've met personally are...." would simply be more appropriate.
Thanks. Cxsm 5/22/04 |
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I don't believe in generalizations - they make my head hurt.
There's bad in the best of us and good in the rest. My man possesses all the wonderful qualities that Igbos are known for; subsequently, I married him. My man is STUBBORN, demanding, hot-headed, controlling and always overcompensating for being short; subsequently, I will continue to honor my marriage vow. I will continue to love him. I will continue to ask my Heavenly Father to make my man all that he wants him to be. And it is so. And the boy sends me swingin'! Be patient with brodas. Tell them what you want and need from them. And each day, teach them how to give it to you. Okay, enough from me today. I'm going home to watch another Naija film! MrsEze 5/22/04 |
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Wow! Thank you o! Sola 5/22/04 |
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Naija Men ALL The Way!
I gets to have my red blooded Nigerian man people! i couldnt even think of being with any other! i have never dated a non-nigerian, its just no use for me as far as i'm concerned. There was this black french cutie pie who was on my case at school, he promised me heaven and earth, but he still didnt get our jokes, come on! how i'm i supposed to communicate without any fun and laughter that only a true Nigerian gets!!!! They may be horrible in bed (i wouldnt know, i havent got a yardstick), but they are still the most romantic out there. i mean who cares about chocolates and flowers when a man forgets why he's a man in the first place: to provide and care for his woman. Thats what counts and thats what a Niaja man will do, when the chips are down you'd forget he was horrible in bed and be thankful he's on your side! So i say give me a NIAJA man anytime!! p.s. guys i have finally acquired a boyfriend and he Niaja to the core!!!! Berta 5/25/04 |
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Work it! Work it! 
MrsEze 5/25/04 |
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I agree that Naija men take care of their women, that's why I want a Naija man. But I would also like flowers, candy and a little romance from time to time. Congratulations on finding a Naija boyfriend, now all we have to do is find one for me.
Missy Alaukwu 5/29/04 |
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well Naija men are not bad, i mean no one can tell me there is a particular race where the men of that race are ALL PERFECT. So come on Naija men have their bad and good side so does any other man from another race.
In all Nigerian MEN ARE WHAT I WOULD CALL MARRIAGE MATERIAL..........in a unique kindda way. I definitely can't say that about other race, for instead haitian are known for really really beating up their wives (not that some naija men don't do it, but hmm not i have seen as to haitian men. no offence), blk americans well some, always cheat on their women, whites, many end up in the divorce court room, indians treat sometimes their women as slaves, spanish also, need i say more. Nigerian men may have their faults but i have never been so proud of their hard work, devotion to family and their different yet special way of showing love. Again no offence -don't get me wrong trying new stuff is not bad at all, though a reminder, not all that glitters is gold Whisper 6/21/04 |
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This is a question that my friends, most of whom are not Nija ask me because i'm always bigging up nija men. I tell them that our men are special becuse i can relate to them.We speak the same languages, eat the same foods. My jokes they get and think them funny. With them i feel at home. The same way i was raised so where they. They are intelligent, hard working, and very family oriented. They make great husbands, fathers, brothers, and friends. They remind me of the men in my family, i feel safe and a sense of peace with them. I just really love our men, i can't imagine myself with a man from any other place.
Chichi 6/21/04 |
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Hello all,
I am loving this interaction concerning Nigerian men. As it relates to me, given my fragmented history across two continents, I am a fusion of two worlds....I love family, consider myself hard working (to the extent to what my history has shown), and consider myself somewhat intelligent but on the same token, I never fully assimiliated into the culture of my parents. I speak Yoruba fairly well but it sounds like a northerner (as in Nigeria) is speaking or at least what my true Nigerian friends would say...So over the years, i have to embrace my hybrid social upbringing accept that one of these forces will be the predominating theme in my life...As to which one it is, I will leave that to the discernment of the readers. It is commonly believed that the family setting into which a person is born into forms the basis of the person's model of forming relationships in the real world....On that note, I have witnessed both the good and bad side of a Nigerian home. I have come to learn that men from each culture are good and bad...and that in choosing a mate, i have learned it boils down to who one can relate to and mesh well with, liken to gears in a gear box..... Based on that, my experience is that I tend to mesh better with black American sisters here....no offense to our Naija sisters but experience has taught me that albeit to my chagrin.... As to the question of romance and giving of gifts and sharing of chocolate, the only thing I have to ask is why is this such an issue with Naija sisters regarding naija men?...Ideally, the concept of giving flowers, buying chocolate and being overall romantic can be considered a western tradition...i sure there are the traditional courtship steps but i don't think they involve the exchange of flowers or romance as it is done here well as my parents explained to me. The Naija men who do it so it because of personal convictions, experiences and preferences. So, as with most things, I plead, as some of our experienced ladies (eg mrseze), to teach us men be it of any race or background with a dash of patience, how to love you, romance and cause orgasms upon orgasms; the main caveat is that the ladies should know their bodies to better communicate their preferences to the men....well, i can say from personal experience, such knowledge does wonders in the bedroom.... Folobatuyi 6/21/04 |
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Folobatuyi, Why don't you go get married then ask your wife to teach you whatever you want to know. Goosh! what is going on in here? folobatuyi get a grip. Panasharp 6/22/04 |
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Nigerian men giving chocolate and flowers? Something must be wrong with the mans head. The only reason why westerners give chocolate is because they want the sugar to go to the head of the woman therebye making the possibility of "comb" more realistic. Flowers are the sex organs of plants, so guess what the man is telling the woman when he hands her a dozen sex organs.
Nigerians do not need to do this because we are far more advanced. We are well versed in our language skills so when I ask a woman how far? and she says e good! I follow with "How body? and she says "e dey cloth!" that means theres comb in the not too distant future. No need for cocolate or plant sex organs. Giving flowers is perhaps the dumbest thing westerners do. First of all, the flowers are only viable for a few days after which you have the added task of getting rid of the rubbish. Secondly, it does not really smell nice. It just smells like what it is, a plant. When I see women in movies smelling flowers, I always ask, what the hell is she smelling in that plant? thirdly, some plants can be pretty expensive and I'm not talking about the good ones like tobacco or whacky weed, but totally useless plants that have only the attraction of pretty colors to attract polinnating bugs! To show my last girfriend how much I loved her, I bought her a goat! 
Beat that mister romantic! Waka-waka 6/23/04 |
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Hmmm I guess we like flowers because they are sooo pretty and sometimes it is just the thought that counts. It also depend on what type of flowers you get because some flowers do smell stinky. To each his own though.
Cece 6/23/04 |
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Waka, I actually agree with you. Flowers die and when they do, they do stink up the place!!
LadyK 6/23/04 |
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Im confused and hurt by this question! Obariba 1/9/07 |
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I'm a Black/African American female and I'm engaged to a Nigerian man that is the absolute love of my life. I recently visited Nigeria for the first time and did receive blessings to marry him from both of his parents. My Nigerian man and I were introduced by a mutual friend of ours, and we fell in love. I had heard that Nigerian men were good to their women, but after dating a few I found that men are men. All are not the same, Black, White, Nigerian, or otherwise.
My fiancee is a very generous man, kind and loving to everyone, not just me. He is very considerate and spoils the hell out of me. He is intellectually stimulating and knowlegeable about most subjects. The love he has for his children and his calm, practical demeanor is a turn on to me. When I was in Nigeria, he went to great lengths to make sure I was comfortable and to show me a good time. I was received well by his family and friends. I literally trust this man with my life and look forward to spending the rest of my days on earth with him, because I just couldn't imagine my life without him in it. I do like the fact that Nigerian men are known to have deep love and devotion to their family. They are taught to be "The MAN" in their relationship, very strong leadership abilities. Although my Fiancee spoils me, I have gotten to see that strong side of him as well. He's never rude or abrasive, but can display that typical Nigerian authority. Bottom line, My Nigerian man and I share many common interest and we have some differences that make us a unique couple. We both agree that we are not perfect people, but we are perfect for each other. We are soul mates. Ebonyangel 1/12/07 |
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Re: What Is So Special About Nigerian Men?
Nigerian men have an aire of confidence that makes them downright attractive. I enjoy a man who can be gentle at times, but knows how to be a real man in the relationship. They're intelligent, sophisticated and well versed. Family is important to them and most have a high respect for their parents. Not that I'm dissing my AA brotha's, but I enjoy being in the company of Nigerian men. They appreciate me for who I am: A well versed, educated and intelligent sistah. Mz nette 1/13/07 |
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Hmm, are you sure? love is still shacking you.
What does it mean to be the man? Obiora 1/13/07 |
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Obiora, this is a million dollar question. As I had the unpalatable task of telling a guy quite recently.... How can a woman possibly begin to teach a 39 (the guy in question) year old man how to be a man? That surely is an exercise in futility!!! It is sad and I'm not sure if you have the same trend in the States, but some of my Nigerian brothers here in the UK have adopted oyinbo mentality even pass the oyinbo man. Some guys now hide under the umbrella of materialism. They know it's a word many women worth their salt cringe from. No woman, well, that I know, wants to be called materialistic but abeg, a man has still got to be a man. The way we knew it back home, men are men and accorded the head of the family becuase they take care of the needs of the household. I am not preaching that women should relax, hold the remote and wait to empty the guy's pockets but when I go to a restaurant with a guy who is asking me out, I most certainly expect him to pick the bill unless I feel like paying, which I must say I actually do sometimes. If I go grocery shopping with a guy and he is pointing out vintage wine and dropping rather expensive items in the trolley, broda, I expect your wallet to come out at the till. But it appeared this my 'friend' was not into such things. When I bothered to broach the subject gingerly, his response was a laid-back....ki okunrin ri ejo, ki obinrin pa, ki ejo sa ti ku ni.... I smiled within me. This most certainly was not my kind of brother. If it's a man's policy not to give, o boy, it had better also be the same man's policy not to take but not so in this case. Now, I can't be with that excuse of a man! Yes I am generous, in fact maybe to a fault (if my friends, the few that I keep, are to be believed), but I'm not looking for some lazy bone to dump on me. I quite naturally... ... showed him my door. I 'saw' the guy for close to 2 months and never knew the colour of his wallet!!! The Nigerian men that I know o, the way they taught us at home... represent and do not shy away from responsibilities. That, in my opinion, is one of the ways to be a man. Angel ra 1/13/07 |
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Re: What is So Special About Nigerian Mem?
Naija men rock in their unique ways, the good, the bad and the ugly! Bolanle 1/14/07 |
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Now, tell me about the bad and ugly Naija men, that sounds extremely interesting! I've got the popcorn and fanta right here. The Dreamer 1/14/07 |
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About the bad and the ugly....hmmmmm. It would be chilidish if i stereotype Naija men na. hehe...see there are those that know how to take care of a woman, and there are those that need to catch up a bit in that department. To me it ain't a big deal, seriously. Treat people around you and whoever you date like you want them to treat you. Simple. Ahhh our Naija brothers, all of dem sweet in their own ways, that of course includes you ...*wink wink* Bolanle 1/14/07 |
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I hope this is the appropriate place for this. I was referred to these site and just wanted to share:
www.nigerwivesnigeria.com For other AA women like myself who are married to Naija's finest! MrsEze |
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