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Re - Help! There Are No HusbandsRe - Help! There Are No Husbands
Leadership
Jonathan Ezeanochie
OPINION
25 Nov. 2007
I beg to disagree with Olulola Kuewumi that there are no husbands. Rather, there are many potential husbands who are willing and able to take a woman to the altar. The problem is, eligible women are hard to come by. While some ladies claim that there are no husbands, what they fear in actual sense is to be caged in the bondage of marriage. They believe that marriage curtails their freedom. Freedom of what? One may ask.
What we now have are ladies that have adopted the western lifestyles, which they see on foreign films and read in romance novels. These ladies think that what obtains in foreign films and novels can be obtainable in our African culture. This is their number one mistake. They forget that people have their distinctive culture, which makes them unique from other people. The culture, where a woman lords it over a man is definitely not made for our shores, because a typical African man finds this posture disturbing to his psychological balance.
Again, Olulola believes that men are promiscuous, and that she thinks, explains why ladies are finding it hard to settle down with men, who ostensibly have more than a lady in their lives. But I would say, the reverse is the case. It is our ladies that are engaging in promiscuous activities and even outright disappointments of hitherto stable relationships.
Sometime ago in Zaria, Dele, was in a relationship with Kehinde which had lasted for a period of time. Each time Dele brings up the issue of marriage, Kehinde would ask him to wait till she finishes her education. Dele waited until Kehinde graduated from F.C.E, Zaria and proceeded to ABU, to get her Bachelor of Education degree. After some pressures and counseling, Kehinde accepted to fix a date for their wedding.
Four weeks to the date of their wedding, Dele received a letter from Kehinde and after reading the letter, he fainted. It was later that the content of the letter started filtering out. In it, Kehinde told Dele in no mistaken terms, that she is no longer interested in the marriage. To rub more salt on Dele's injury, the letter also contained a wedding invitation, inviting Dele to the wedding solemnisation between her and her heartthrob.
What made the matter worse for Dele was the fact that the man who was to wed Kehinde is eight years older than him. He was at sea as to what must have motivated Kehinde to give him such a rude shock. Till date, Dele is still unmarried, though in his late thirties. Assuming he had been indulging in promiscuity, he would be labeled a womaniser.
Timothy is another victim of ladies' dissappointment. He dated Caroline for 3 years and all along, he was always telling her that she would be the mother of his children. All he wanted was for Caroline to exercise a little patience with him, to enable him raise enough money for the wedding. But in a manner characteristic of most women, Caroline woke up one day and called it quit. Nobody could place her reason for quitting the relationship. It was a few months later, that people started seeing her with a prominent businessman. This they reasoned must have been the reason why she jilted Timothy.
"What pains me most", Timothy later told a friend, "is that all along she did not tell me that she will not marry me? Even after I have taken her to the market and bought the customary clothes for her. This is painful. Very painful". He concluded.
If you ask me, I would say that some ladies are the architects of what they are passing through. After jilting the man God has made for them, they go about saying husbands are scarce.
It is true that some men indulge in promiscuity, most of them do it as a result of frustration, or as a desire to inflict pain on the opposite sex for making them pass through unspeakable pains.
The real issue is that, there are too many ladies but few wife material. What many ladies today want is money, fame, houses, security and glamour. They don't want to go the long hog of walking side-by-side a man to the peak of success. What they desire is a "ready made" man, and not the man that is still struggling to get up the ladder.
So, I think it's not the men's fault. It's just that some of our sisters are in a hurry. My advice to them is that they should slow down, and be humble. Despite their wealth and education, if they could be willing to play the role of a wife, there are thousands, if not millions of eligible bachelors waiting for their right ribs.
Copyright © 2007 Leadership
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