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Marriage ChoicesMarriage Choices
I think it's erroneous to make general and sweeping statements about a nation or it's people.
In my opinion and experience I believe a Nigerian's woman's choice as to whom she should get married to, is usually influenced by their individual family and household policies and practices, moreso than by tribe or religion.
Just as there are parents who want their children to marry within their realm of understanding, there are equally parents in Nigeria, who believe wherever their offsprings find happiness is the best decision, as this will reduce tension, potential conflict, and unhappiness from the onset in their children's marriages.
I come from a family that supports the choice of one's partner regardless of tribe or national original so far one's mate is decent and will be a good mate and co-provider in the marriage. I am sure I speak for many, as I know a lot of people who are from similar backgrounds.
I also believe exposure has a lot to do with the decisions in each household. People tend to believe only what is within their realm of understanding and this bares heavily on some religious and traditional circles.
Man has been known to have a fear of the unknown and if a family feels they know nothing about other tribes or nationalities or if they harbour biases or grudges based on previous experiences or heresy, the tendency is for them to try to reduce their chances of making marital alliances with those they consider the outsider. This holds true regardless of whether it's in the U. S., Africa, Europe or Asia.
It is true that some women in some parts of some countries worldwide are not privileged to make choices regarding their spouses, but this is hardly the norm, but rather the exception. This practice again boils down to lack of exposure, lack of education (not necessarily book knowledge) and subservient practices due to male dominance in such instances. Hence a reason why some Muslim women who belong to some cultures where they are restrained by their 'habits' (cloaks) are dominated by their male counterparts who have the dominant rights.
Women worldwide are sometimes exposed to all kinds of aggression, oppression abuse, etc. by men, so this is not unique to Africa.
Indian women have been known to seek escape from forced marriages; some women in Utah in the U.S. are doomed to marriages arising out of Mormonism which accepts multiple wife marriages; some girls from U.S. promised modelling contracts or in exchange for top pay are sent to Arab countries as sex slaves; women conned into coming to the U.S. from foreign countries to pursue modelling experiences or marry American men are also abused and sometimes used as sex slaves, because they believe they have no means of escape due to their fear of being deported; some Oriental women are trained to be subservient to their mates who openly have concubines on the side, etc.
Abuse rather than being limited to certain regions is thus more encompassing and I can only believe that is why there are organizations fighting for women's rights worldwide. Speaking up is the fastest way to eradicating such abuses and regardless of ones race or nationality this should be encouraged to bring the acts to light.
In response to the reference that was made regarding the Miss World contest that was stated to hold in Nigeria, the opinion of many is as follows. "The issue of the cancellation of last year's Miss World in Nigeria on the pretext that it was offensive to Muslims is one of extreme hypocrisy by Sharia extremists who had their own political agenda." Pageants are held annually in Nigeria, and all aspects of the contests including the bathing suit contest are observed, so it's nothing new to see half-naked women strutting their stuff.
The same Sharia extremists, hypocritically shouting offense are the same ones who sometimes take young girls as 2nd or 3rd wives according to their belief that Muslims are permitted to have up to 4 wives, if they can afford to maintain them.
Also, for the much publicized cases of Amina Lawal et al and their ensuing propagandas, irregardless of the Sharia law and their stated punishment of death for adulterers (which takes 2 consenting parties to begin with), there was absolutely NO way she would have died because the laws of the land, which are the federal laws supercede all religious laws and disfavours/condemns the death penalty.
So in answer to your question, "It is NOT a standard or common practice for Nigerians or all Africans to have their marriages dictated by their tribe or religion."
Cxsm
18th Dec. '03
© Cxsm 2003 All Rights Reserved
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