Living a LIE

admin · Living a LIE

Living a LIE

We all want the ideal in our relationships and marriages, but the reality is that 'this is not always possible'. Sometimes it's because we don't really know our mates or their capabilities, but relationships are always a discovery process. On the other hand, it's because our mates intentionally hide vital information which can affect our well-being or the well-being of our relationships.

Historically, because of the increasingly rising ratio of women to men, men tend to have an upper hand in deciding who to mate with, how many mates to have relationships with and usually for how long. As thus women have a lot more to lose and usually try to be on the best footing in order to preserve their relationships.

If the selection process was all women had to contend with, then they would know they could at least have some rest of mind while they worked at maintaining their relationships. Unfortunately, not all men are quite honest about what they bring to the table while negotiating relationships and sometimes marriages with their mates.

As with most relationships, having to deal with sudden revelations of bad credit, past relationships, disguised poverty, unemployment status, tax evasion, dead-beat dads, cheating spouses, on-going affairs, children out of wedlock, mistresses, second families, bigamy, cross-dressing, health issues such as hereditary diseases and other ailments, and sometimes shady backgrounds and professions, etc., may seem to be one's acceptance of working with the hand one has been dealt in life, ONCE one has made a CHOICE to make that person a potential or final life mate.

What is sometimes and increasingly more shocking is the sudden realization that the man is overly promiscuous, a closet homosexual, bisexual, rapist or murderer.

While the first set of potential issues affect a person's well-being, they do not necessarily endanger a person's life, the latter set of issues though are potentially dangerous and life threatening.

With so many women available and outnumbering the number of available men, this reality is an additional issue women seeking men to have relationships with have to contend with.

It is best to do one's best to find out about a potential mates character before embarking on a relationship, let alone marriage with them. But even with all attempts to do this, some men are proficient at hiding information that may endanger their mate's life.

Being promiscuous (a dog), homosexual or bisexual may not necessarily be a problem IF a man is honest enough to reveal this information to his mate, giving her the opportunity to make a CHOICE as to whether she wants to embark on a relationship or marriage with him or not.

Hiding that information from a woman, while practicing the act of promiscuity and/or homosexuality, especially unprotected sex with other men as in the life style called DOWN-LOW, on the other hand is endangering a woman's life, especially if the man equally has unprotected sex with his mate or wife.
This is the reason more and more women in heterosexual relationships are increasingly being diagnosed with HIV and Aids.

A man playing Russian roulette with his mate's life does NOT love his mate.

No better is this man than a rapist who hides his extracurricular activity from his mate or wife. He's not only endangering the lives of his victims, but also that of his mate or wife which he returns to copulate with.

A murderer on the other hand, intentionally seeks to destroy or end the life of another human being, and whether he goes out and kills his victims, decides to turn the knife or gun on his wife, or slowly kills her by exposing her to a deadly virus as in the case of HIV and ultimately Aids, the end result is the same. He not only has the power to, but makes the choice to exercise that power by ending a fellow human being's life.

Any wonder as to why LYING is considered a sin, it can ultimately lead to the eradication of another being's life.

While some women, are probably in the dark about their mates extracurricular sexual activities, some women suspect that their mates are deceiving them, but the fear of losing their relationship or marriage, fear of being single or lonely, and/or fear of what others may think, paralyzes them from confronting their mates or ending the relationships, but it is better to check your mate that to be used as a checkmate. Choosing to enable a lie is the same as living a LIE.

This is why some women are weak enough to compromise their future by choosing to remain in relationships and marriages where the men eventually decides to exit the closet and maybe pursue a full homosexual relationship with other men, or embark on a sex change operation, etc., so he can fully enjoy copulation with other men.

Women because of their biological makeup are more susceptible to catching and harboring microorganisms, viruses and diseases that may not be immediately diagnosed, and may already be life-threatening by the time they are discovered. Protection at all costs is thus essential to preserving life.

WOMEN, take heed, lest you lose your lives while enabling a LIE.

For all those MEN who choose to practice the "DOWN-LOW" lifestyle, by "Living a LIE" remember that the fact that you have the power to KILL another human being, does NOT give you the right to exercise it.

Cxsm
16th April '04

© Cxsm 2004 All Rights Reserved

admin

Thank you Cxsm, this is a timeless keeper! Especially as a mom of three daughters!

I beg you all to PLEASE READ IT! It may be lengthy but quite worth the read! Especially you my female aburos out there!

I was able to decipher most of the info presented in Cxsm's article at a very early age (in my teens) but most women do not GET IT until too late. And for those of us who do Get It and choose to ignore it. The situation will surely come back to bite you or your kids!

We as women have been blessed with some "GUT" mechanism that warns us..If you have a nagging feeling about your relationship/man 99.9999% it is something you need to address and address quickly!

Having said all that I am most thankful that I am in a Godly relationship and that took a lot of PRAYER 25years and still counting!!!
As I always say... but for the grace of God there goes I...

Remain blessed all
'Bunmi
4/17/04

admin

Hello Cxsm,

I was terribly shocked to learn of that LOW DOWN b.s. by one mfsb of an author, J.L.King, late last week. As if it was not even bad enough, this mfsb of an imp was proudly smacking his lips when he was talking about it as if it was something praise-worthy that anybody should be really, really proud of. He didn't even feel an iota of shame or remorse about it.

I tried to figure it out, Cxsm, but I found myself gradually slipping into that sphere of dislike crescendoing to an unbelievable peak of hate. But what can I say or do? I merely asked myself , "---you this boy, which one you dey?. Abi you wan' begin get blood pressure over this rotten society?" So, I resignedly got up and fixed myself a cold glass of gingered kiwi-guava nectar with a dash of cayen. Abi wetin man go do? Sebi them talk say, "--- man no die, man no rotten".

But I think I finally got it figured out, after that refreshing drink. You see, their problems are like plants. They have roots. And the roots of their problems lie in their parental overly permissive upbringing. All we are seeing, Cxsm, is the load on the head of a k-legged man: and we complain that the load is tilted and/or crooked.

Whether you mark my word or you read my lips, just don't be surprised if, in our lifetime, marriage certificates are issued to people and their pets in this God-blessed(?) U.S. of A ---all in the name of freedom of choice and freedom of association.

Anyway, sha,
Cheers.
Yemi.
4/20/04

admin

--- In asaba@yahoogroups.com, Ike Okwuobi <okwuobi@y...> wrote:

Wherever this came from? Anyhow, it's an interesting topic.

Right off the bat it tells me that my hypothesis that the world in going round in circles in almost every ramification is right on cue. The letter tells me that we need to go back to the basics as is done in traditional Africa, where marriage is one between families. when couples realise this, they tend to leave these funny behaviours to the world of fantasies- which in itself is a plus for the religous world.

Interesting!
Ike

admin

OPRAH Putting "DOWN LOW" on Blast

EUR
4/16/04

Friday's show focused on black men with wives, girlfriends and male sex partners, too. *It's 2004 and the phrase "down low" has gone way beyond the recognized sexual indiscretions. The phrase has been connected to a growing number of African-American homosexual men, in particular, who are living as heterosexuals, popularized by the book by J. L. King called "On the Down Low."

The issue was the focus of a recent episode of "Law & Order: SVU" and was the topic of the "Oprah Winfrey Show" on Friday. Oprah will, in addition, recognize the sensitive and urgency of the HIV/AIDS issue with the episode titled "Living on the Down Low"

"This show is important because hopefully it will generate discussion and awareness particularly in Black communities," said Phill Wilson, executive director of the Black AIDS Institute, which is coordinating a national HIV testing effort towards African Americans.

"At the end of the day, it's the silence that engines the AIDS epidemic in Black communities."

admin

Cxsm,

I just want to thank you for your Post. Although humans act in ways unknown, such behavior is no excuse for the harm brought on by such actions.

If for the very fact that human behavior is expected, it fails to remove the emotional complications suffered by those uproriously involved. While the ferocious performances of many immigrants incorporate a huge, widely profain number of 'temporary marriages' the drama, nonetheless, is not erased by 'human behavior'.

Again, there is no excuse, but I must admit, the existance of such is extremely compulsory among 'specific' immigrant countries, for the purpose of escaping the poor, as you stated. Such compulsory seems to spread throughout America, specifically stated, the African American culture.

As you have pointed out, I am an African American woman who dates ONLY African men, and there is clearly an impeccable difference between the African American culture and Nigerian cultures. The differences pertain to courting, dating, openness, pleasure, and philosophical makeup. Other characteristics like values, morals and most of all, love, are also obvious. Many African American women, like myself, are draw to such behavior. However, as presented in my initial Posting about 'temporary marriages', when any woman, of any culture, is faced with the 'unknown', they become emotionally withdrawn, seeking answers to various 'mysterious' aspects of human behavior.

As such, again, in my Forum, we speak specifically about Nigerians and African American Love and Relationships. As such, I have come to realize the former statement is true, in that I have examined the unfolding relationships between African Americans and Nigerians, specifically. I have also come to realize that a `great drama' exists among many immigrants, in their struggle to live the 'American dream'. I have also come to realize that human behavior is not tied to obsessive-compulsive behavior, thus human behavior is no excuse for the pain, agony and deceit caused by unknowing acts, such as 'temporary marriage'.

Thank you again for your input, and I do intend on being a regular part of this Forum. I welcome all comments, as well as any member who may join in my Forum for other topics of this nature.

Remain Blessed,

Mia, Moderator/NAALF Owner
4/21/04
[NigeriaWazobia]