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Can Men and Women be Just Friends?Can Men and Women be Just Friends?
Men and women CAN have platonic relationships and friendship, so far BOTH have defined their parameters as to what is permissible or not. It is of course unwise to be close friends with a person who you are aware of as having impure thoughts or unsolicited desires unless you are continents apart, but then there's phone sex and internet webcams.
If you have maintained a friendship with someone and you see it becoming uncomfortable, it's best to discuss, because sometimes the sudden attraction, may result from other issues or stresses in the person's life, and the closeness of the friendship may have triggered the sudden transference of feelings to a trusted other. If it is solely a developing interest then it's best to work out how to diminish contact or the relationship itself, as it may be a threat to existing relationships.
Existing friendships between opposite sex should not necessarily be terminated UNLESS they are highly probable to be threats to the couple's relationship or marriage.
Relationships with exes are indeed POSSIBLE, so far parameters are also drawn, and both are indeed OVER one another. Sincere communication to EXPRESS any residual feelings (including love or anger) can help determine whether both can possibly maintain or further their friendship, else it's best to split for good and find other friends elsewhere.
Undue INSECURITY or PARANOIA on behalf of one mate can - NOT only foster a closer relationship between the other mate and a friend of the opposite gender, but also make him/her just go out and get the accusatory act fulfilled.
SOME relationships have lasted longer because of friendships with other gender that have brought, not only understanding about things peculiar to a mate (because of their gender), but also mended relationships because of different perspectives a mate learns from friends of other gender.
Some other gender friends not only add value to some relationships by their ability to serve as role players, but because of unbiased advices they may contribute. Some even serve as buffers to deflect angers or other negative feelings (helping let steam off) that a mate might otherwise (duly or unduly) heap on their significant other.
If on the other hand you know YOUR mate canNOT be trusted, or is a philanderer, then in choosing to have a relationship with him/her, you should have mastered ways to keep him/her from the public at large. It is then your duty to PROTECT society and unsuspecting people from the MENACE.
Personally, I have friends of other gender, both married and single and having defined my friendships with them, I'm neither threatened by them or any potential advances, neither am I a threat to any of their relationships.
If someone chooses to PERCEIVE what does NOT exist then it is their hang-up, I will not give up a 'GOOD' and trusting well-established friendship for someone's insecure perceptions.
Friendships are life-long, but relationships can be fleeting, especially in this day when people hardly understand let alone understand the importance of commitments and marriage vows.
Cxsm
13th Feb.'04
© Cxsm 2004 All Rights Reserved
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