NaijaPositive.com

admin · Site Admin Joined: 25 May 2007 Posts: 5404

Lazy-Tongue

Have you ever been a victim of a 'lazy-tongue'?

I'll begin by defining what I mean by a 'lazy-tongue'. It's that which is too lazy to make an effort to pronounce some 'selective' foreigners' names. For instance it can be American with no Jewish, Polish or other Eastern European ties, yet find NO difficulty in pronouncing 'Schwarzenegger', 'Kwrazcholvoliski etc., but will twist and turn or forever be challenged when it comes to pronouncing 'Ogbologbo' or 'Bimbola'.

Sometimes it's so lazy, it would ask you 'if it can just call you some other name but your real name'. It is sometimes not even willing to try, it considers your name foreign, especially if you're of black descent, and automatically concludes 'your name deserves NO effort in being pronounced correctly'.

Have you lost opportunities, been discriminated against, been denigrated, been cast aside, etc., because of a lazy-tongue? :?

Have you been so discriminated against by so many lazy-tongues that you have been forced to change your name to allow you to enjoy the same priviledges, that the lazy-tongue would have precluded you from participating in?

Have you been so ashamed of your name out of fear of the lazy-tongue's judgements, that you did not even wait to experience it's wrath before you chose to change your name?

E.g. Fagbemi becomes Faby. (We're not talking nicknames now.)

Have you given your children English and other 'lazy-tongue' acceptable names to protect them from discrimination?

If you have encountered any of the wrath and disadvantages of the lazy tongue, please share your experiences with us. :cry:

Also, if you have any advice as to how potential and existing victims can escape its wrath, turmoil and embarassment, please enlighten us as to how you were able to tackle the challenges.

Cxsm
31st Oct. '03

© Cxsm 2003 All Rights Reserved

_________________
May we be strengthened with the ability, willingness and capabilities to be good ambassadors of Nigeria contributing to its uplifting, rather than its detriment. - Cxsm

admin · Site Admin Joined: 25 May 2007 Posts: 5404

Csxm,

I'm sure we have all experienced at some point what you call "lazy-tongues". I suppose its one of the little inconveniences of moving to another country and culture. Oyobo people in particular can be most reluctant to get your name right. I have been called Sala, Shaw, and you don't want to know what they have done to my last name. I mean you so get used to it that when you're in a public place where a name has to be called out, you listen for the one that will sound funny, knowing that will be your own being mutilated.

When you meet the enlightened and adventruous ones among them sha, they keep on asking you and trying to get it write. That's when you forgive all the others for screwing up your name.

Sola
11/04/03

admin · Site Admin Joined: 25 May 2007 Posts: 5404

OM.....@aol.com wrote:

Dear Sir,
When I read your writeup below, I thought no one could have said it better, you hit the nail on the head. Most of all I enjoyed reading it.

First of all, I never introduce myself to anyone with a nickname and most times we spend at least a minute trying to get the correct pronounciation of my name.

Next when they ask me the meaning, I tell them and ask them the meaning to their name. When they have none I shake my head as though I feel sorry for them.

Finally, when they tell me I have an accent, and tell me how beautiful it is, I tell them they have one too, it depends on who is speaking and who is listening.

When I tell them where I am from, which is Nigeria I further state that I do not know every Nigerian in the United States and I may not know their friend. Because I am sick and tired of people asking me about someone they met in Minnesota or Texas when I have never being there. I also remind them Nigeria is a big place even though it is smaller than the U.S.

Hope this helped. Take care and God bless. Good Work

OO

P.S. Just don't say it to your Boss you might never get a promotion.

admin · Site Admin Joined: 25 May 2007 Posts: 5404

Dear O.O,

I couldn't stop laughing when I read your response, 'cos it mirrored my experiences also. I can remember how astonished some people have looked when I answered them that they also had an accent too. Were more people bold enough to say exactly what they felt in particular appropriate circumstances, maybe the ignorant and not necessarily naive comments and questions would cease.

I also, experienced the 'do you know XYZ in philadelphia?' question, and I used it as an educational opportunity. Some laymen cannot be blamed, when media representatives are sometimes ill-informed themselves. I'll never forget the day Ted Koppel made a statement beginning with "In the country Africa....." Till today, I don't know whether it was a slip of tongue as of that time or just plain ignorance, but I was aghast. Regardless, those who were watching the news that day many years ago, had they never known anything about Africa, would have thought they gained some education which unfortunately was misinformation. So if such persons walk around thinking and saying Africa is a country, despite having a responsibility to verify information disemminated to them, can one fully blame them. A lot of people in America get their info. from the media.

What I take offense to is someone telling me 'Can I just call you ABC?' masqueraded in form of a question, to which I usually tell them NO. You can call me my first name but don't rename my father, unless you want me to rename yours. Tolerance becomes empathy and results usually differ from what we expect, so we should always speak up for ourselves.

Thanks once again and have a blessed week.

Cxsm.
_________________
May we be strengthened with the ability, willingness and capabilities to be good ambassadors of Nigeria contributing to its uplifting, rather than its detriment. - Cxsm

admin · Site Admin Joined: 25 May 2007 Posts: 5404

Moj....@aol.com wrote:

I say, never feel embarassed or too intimidated to correct any one who mispronounced your name, because that is your identity and who you are; so defend it. Also, Americans now are starting to name their children foreign and Islamic names i.e. Latifah, Shakirah and Shade.

Just a thought.
Moj....

admin · Site Admin Joined: 25 May 2007 Posts: 5404

Dear Moj....,

Thanks for your response. I'm sure those in such situations would be glad to receive your advice. I personally speak up and stand up for myself. I was just curious as to how others handle it, so as to gather advices and suggestions from others, to equip others who may be subject to such experiences at some future time in their lives. Besides, sharing similar experiences good or bad, helps people realize the experiences are not unique to them, hence the experiences are easier to tackle and overcome.

Thanks once again for your response.
Cxsm
_________________
May we be strengthened with the ability, willingness and capabilities to be good ambassadors of Nigeria contributing to its uplifting, rather than its detriment. - Cxsm

admin · Site Admin Joined: 25 May 2007 Posts: 5404

When I meet non-Nigerians and I tell them my name, they either pronounce it with that "lazy tongue" or ask me if I have a nickname. I always tell them I don't have one and I don't wish to be called one especially Temi, which for some reason people call me right after I tell them I'm Temitayo. I correct them immediately and tell them that I don't answer to a nickname (thank you!). Guess what, every non-Nigerian I know or work with call me Temitayo, they know I won't answer if you call me anything short of that. They don't pronounce it with the Yoruba accent but they still call me Temitayo, which is fine by me.

I often wonder why Nigerians allow his or her names to be "murdered"; I can't imagine why you would let someone off easily with that kind of mistake. It just doesn't make sense to me. If you meet someone known as Simone, you call them Simone, you don't call a Stephanie Steph just because it easier on the tongue. Why can't they take time to learn your name and say it back to you to the best of their ability? I always used to make fun of my friend until she changed the way she pronounced her name on her voicemail at work. She started calling herself Nike (like the sneaker) because people at work call her that and she tells me that she corrected them but they never listen. That is BS to me; people give you what you ask for!

While we are at it, I don't understand why Nigerian parents name their children foreign names; does it kill to name them in your native language? Isn't it refreshing to see a name and know exactly what tribe the person belongs? Isn't a name supposed to be part of our heritage (at least the Nigerian heritage)?

My Nigerian friends call me Tayo, Temi and T, it's all good but no one else is allowed to do so and that is that.

Brooken
11/04/03

admin · Site Admin Joined: 25 May 2007 Posts: 5404

Like you guys, my name has been butchered thoroughly. e.g. NIKIEM....NI...KI. EM.. DEEEE..... LEEEM.e.t.c. Only one guy has been able to get my name right since I returned to the U.S. They usually ask me if I have a "simpler version" and I tell them Dee.... for simplicity sake.

I don't even bother telling people my last name. My ancestors roll in their graves when they hear the way it's been mispronounced.

It's really no big deal to me when they don't get my name right. Afterall, they weren't raised in Nigeria and shouldn't be expected to affect all the special accents that come with our names.

hell, even I can't pronounce all Nigerian names well. Remember, we pronounce their names well because we are brought up with their literature. If the reverse was the case, they'd do the same to our names.

Nkem1
11/04/03

admin · Site Admin Joined: 25 May 2007 Posts: 5404

Being brought up with their literature has nothing to do with the fact that you can't pronounce a name to the best of your ability. The head of my group is Greek by Origin but a first generation American, we all take our time in pronouncing his last name and even if we don't get the accent we call it to the best of our ability.

You don't want to be heard mispronouncing the name of your boss, the same goes for Bayo Ogunlesi at CSFB all the people I met pronounce Ogunlesi - with an accent of course - but they still pronounce it with all the syllables and letters intact.

They don't need to pronounce your name in your accent but at least get all the syllables right. I personally think it's rude not to pronounce a colleague's or friend's name right. I tell everyone my name has four syllables TE-MI-TA-YO. Take Sola for example two syllables So-La. Tell me, what is so hard in pronouncing that in an whatever accent, they just don't care if you don't care to point it out to them.

It's okay for one-time users to mispronounce my name but not for people you interact with often that is just plain tacky!

I agree with the last name thing, you don't even want to hear mine; thank God my married name is shorter and better sounding.

Let me hear you all say SCH-WARZE-NEG-GER. Was that less difficult than Sola; is German the literature we were brought up with? How come we pronounce it so well? Is it too much to ask your acquaintances, colleagues or friends to get it right?

Brooken
11/05/03

admin · Site Admin Joined: 25 May 2007 Posts: 5404

Hi y'all. I got some more interesting responses which I'm sharing.

Hello,
I read with great interest your article on the "Lazy Tongue" issue.

First off, Ill state that my name is Chukwuweta Chukwudebe, so as you can imagine I am more than well acquainted with the phenomenon.

It seems like all of my life I have been fielding questions and defending what seems, at least to the Western mind, my seemingly perverse and deliberate attempt to force their vocal cords to perform yogi like convulsions of fantastic pain and stress. It is in vain that I have tried to point out that the name has the same number of syllables as Alexander, (and that nobody refers to Alexander the Great as "Alex" the Great) and Rockefeller and AMERICA, and only one more than Kennedy or Christopher and indeed one less than the name California. The rise of now Governor Schwarzenegger of California provided me with a potent platform as well.

It all began because I was fortunate enough to be blessed with parents with a strong sense of cultural pride. They instilled in me very early the mantra that I could, on NO circumstances, EVER allow ANYONE to shorten my name and commit, what was to their minds, an abomination by allowing it to be shortened to a more convenient "Chuk" or "Chu".
My mother, who is a formerly a native of Texas, not even a born Nigerian, was the most vocal in this quest, stating emphatically that having suffered 9 months of immobility and 32 hours of agony to bring me, her first child, into this life, to say nothing of the long hard years she sacrificed raising my mischievous self to full growth, the small matter of accepting and indeed respecting the name that she and my father saw fit to bestow upon me was not too much to ask in return.

I do have a Christian middle name, Stephen, but my father went to great pains to describe in exact detail how that name was only a concession, a very very begrudging concession, to the Catholic Church to satisfy an extreme backward man-made tradition they had at the time of my birth of refusing to baptize people in their African names, -in itself yet another imperialistic colonial inspired attempt to disrespect the traditional African culture, (thankfully now, with independence, corrected), and in fact a mortal sin since God surely saw all men, and whatever names they chose to call themselves, as equals.
As such to EVER use "Stephen" would mean not only refuting the very concept of my being as a free African by denying the freedoms which great people had fought to secure for me, but it would mean subverting what was surely the true will of the Almighty himself. This kind of talk, as you can imagine, had a profound and lasting effect on my 5 year old mind.

When I was young I confess I often used to resent my name. Most often when it caused some childhood catastrophe such as when, after playing for a whole season on a Western little league team, I would have to watch my particular trophy or medal alone get sent back to the accompaniment of many emotional scenes orchestrated by my indignant parents, who refused to accept that a medal ascribed to "Chuk" or "Chukwu", could possibly be mine. In vain the sports organizers would try to explain the laws and methods mass production which, according to them, made it untenable for a single medal out of team of about 40 little boys to be produced with a smaller font so that my name could be fit onto a particular space.

Or whenever entering a new classroom, or any public gathering, the adult reading from a list of names would, inevitably, pause in the manner I grew to know so well. And I would have to raise my hand quickly before they actually began the process of trying to pronounce my name. More often than not producing at first a nasty hawking sound, ("CHALKaweewee CHOOKAdidi?") which was often much more painful to hear than having the entire gathering turn to stare at this unusual scientific specimen. Who would also quickly be revealed to be a radical, a cultural deviant or some other type of similarly bitterly unrelenting personage when after the adult would, in polite expectant tones, inquire after my "nickname" or what "people called me" and I would have to explain, once again, that I did not have a nickname and that "people" called me by the name they saw printed on the paper in front of them, and they would, for the entire time that they knew me, indeed have to expend a few microns on their brain power and actually learn to pronounce my name.

As I have grown older however, I have learned to live with, and indeed to love my name. It does make me stand out immediately in a crowd wherever I am or in any group of people. I have found that people tend to assume certain things about somebody with a long name that he refuses to allow to be shortened. Maybe he's an eccentric of unusual intelligence, or a foreign dignitary, or a member of some exiled religious group like the Dalai Lama. While making sure that I don't encourage these delusions I also appreciate the fact that people do tend to show more interest in finding out who I am and where I come from than they do for somebody named Bob or Jim.

It has also helped instill in me an increased sense of pride in my culture and indeed in myself as a unique individual. Certainly I have never before met anybody with my name and I do take a certain pleasure in that.

To make my life easier I have learned little tricks, such as when giving my name to somebody over the phone I usually warn them ahead of time that my first name is long. And then, before I send my last name I warn them again that it is also long AND similar to my first name, (to prevent them from stopping me half way through the recital to say, "No, I meant your LAST name.").

I have decided that if I ever have any children I will make sure I pass my name on to at least one of them so that it does not end with my demise and indeed travels immortal down through the annals of time. In fact sometimes in my more grandiose moments I dream I might act like Joe Frasier and name ALL of them that name. In fact, I could go further than him since nobody has told me for certain that the name is NOT, like many Igbo names, androgynous, and so it would not matter if I had sons or daughters- but Im sure that whatever lady I am fortunate enough to marry will have something to say about THAT.

So, I applaud your noticing this phenomenon and I encourage in your quest to bring this subtle form of discrimination out into the open.
Those of us who have suffered under the jack boot of the Lazy Tongue Gestapo, or have experienced "Nameism" understand where you are coming from.

Chukwuweta Chukwudebe
le...@triscend.com