NaijaPositive.com

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75 Lessons That Must Be Learned In Relationships

1. If a wo/man wants you, nothing can keep her/him away. If s/he doesn't want you, nothing can make her/him stay.

2. Stop making excuses for a wo/man and her/his behavior.

3. If you have ANY doubt in your mind about a wo/man's character, leave her/him alone.

4. Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache.

5. Stop trying to change yourself for a relationship that's not meant to be.

6. Don't force an attraction.

7. Slower is better.

8. Never live your life for a wo/man before you find what makes you truly happy.

9. If a relationship ends because the wo/man was not treating you as you deserve then heck no you can't "be friends." A friend wouldn't mistreat a friend.

10. Have faith in God regarding your relationship, but don't let faith make you stupid. God does things decent and in order.

11. Don't settle.

12. If you feel like s/he is stringing you along, then s/he probably is.

13. If s/he keeps changing his mind about the relationship--take that as a BIG sign that s/he is unstable. Do you really want to be with a wo/man like that?

14. Don't stay because you think "it will get better." You'll be angry at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better.

15. Honorable wo/men take care of their business and aren't involved in a whole lot of mess.

16. The only person you can control in a relationship is you.

17. There's only one 'reason' a wo/man dumps you; s/he doesn't want you.

18. Avoid wo/men who've got a bunch of children by a bunch of different men/women. If a man didn't marry women when he got them pregnant, why would he treat you any differently?

19. You really do have to kiss a few frogs before finding the prince/ss.

20. Always put yourself and your happiness first.

21. Always have your own set of friends separate from his/hers.

22. Maintain boundaries in how a guy/gal treats you. If something bothers you, speak up.

23. Like from the show Sex and the City, if s/he doesn't call, s/he just isn't that interested.

24. Be honest and upfront.

25. Know when to cut the cord, don't be strung along.

26. Don't fall for the "I'm confused role". Remove yourself from the situation to let him/her figure things out (but don't wait for him/her, move on).

27. If you want to have a clue as to how s/he will treat you, watch how s/he treats the MEN/WOMEN in her/his family (not just dad/mom).

28. There's more than physical abuse, there's emotional and mental abuse. If s/he causes any of them...flee.

29. You cannot change a wo/man's behavior. Change comes from within.

30. Don't let her/him place rules on you that /she is not willing to follow her/himself -- double-standard.

31. Don't EVER make her/him feel s/he is more important than you are...even if s/he has more education or a better job.

32. Do not make her/him into a quasi-god. S/he is a wo/man, nothing more nothing less.

33. Respect your mate but if s/he can't recipocrate it, s/he can't have you!

34. Don't compete with other wo/man, but be aware that wo/men are attracted to what they see.

35. If you think s/he is cheating, s/he probably is. Confront her/him right away and if you feel s/he's lying, let her/him go.

36. Actions speak louder than words.

37. Never let a wo/man define who you are.

38. Never rely on a wo/man for compliments, look to yourself for that.

39. Never borrow someone else's wo/man.

40. If s/he cheated with you, s/he'll cheat on you.

41. Just because s/he says s/he loves you, doesn't mean that s/he won't hurt you and it doesn't mean that you are meant to be with her/him.

42. To use painful hard-won wisdom -- 'get it right' the next time.

43. Know that you deserve to be the number one person in the life of the #1 person in your life.

44. Love is a verb ...

45. Learn to give up your lifelong task of trying to make someone unavailable-available, someone ungiving-giving, and someone unloving-loving.

46. A wo/man will only treat you the way you ALLOW her/him to treat you.

47. All men are NOT dogs and all women are not dog walkers.

48. You should not be the one doing all the bending...compromise is a two way street.

49. If you don't love self...you can't love anyone else.

50. You cannot mend someone else's broken heart.

51. You need time to heal between relationships...there is nothing cute about baggage... deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship.

52. You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you...a relationship consists of two WHOLE individuals...look for someone complimentary...not supplementary.

53. Dating is fun...even if s/he doesn't turn out to be Mrs./Mr. Right.

54. NEVER give more in a relationship than you are getting out of it.

55. Never become your wo/man's "therapist".

56. When actions and words conflict, believe the actions. Respond to the actions.

57. A real healthy relationship requires two people. One person can end it - but it takes two to make it work.

58. Don't fall for the "I'm not the loving type"...when a wo/man loves you there is nothing in this world (within reason) that s/he wouldn't do for you.

59. Make her/him miss you sometimes...when a wo/man always know where you are, and you're always readily available to her/him s/he takes it for granted.

60. Give her/him his space...let her/him go out with her/his gals/boys, don't pressure her/him to spend time with you, You can't force a wo/man to hang out with you.

61. If you wouldn't allow your daughter/son to be with him/her you shouldn't.

62. Never let a wo/man know everything. S/he will use it against you later.

63. Never move into her/his father's/mother's house.

64. Provide financially for yourself and don't depend on anyone.

65. Never co-sign for a man or a spendthrift woman.

66. Never believe you have the perfect guy and he is so innocent; or such described woman unless she's already proven herself.

67. Never spoil your man; let him spoil you./(men - beware of the user though.)

68. Never let a wo/man mess up your credit.

69. When it's time to let go; let go.

70. Good wo/men should be treated like good wo/men.

71. Don't play games.

72. You can't make a [xxxxxx] into a housewife/husband.

73. Don't fully commit to a wo/man who doesn't give you everything that you need. Keep her/him in your radar but get to know others.

74. Compatibility in terms of educational attainment, values, beliefs, personal and career goals, and socioeconomic status, are important.

75. Never date a guy who wears coloured contacts. / a woman whose hair/nails/boobs/ personality/etc/... is always fake

BONUS - A man who doesn't love his mother can never really truly love a woman!!!!

[Relationships should be based on MUTUAL respect. - Cxsm]

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May we be strengthened with the ability, willingness and capabilities to be good ambassadors of Nigeria contributing to its uplifting, rather than its detriment. - Cxsm